worst receptionist ever

Receptionist: "Dewwey, Billem and Howe, CPAs, how may I direct your call?"
Me: "I need to talk to Sally please."
R: "A lot of folks are out today for the holiday weekend, let me see if she's in."
sound of handset against fabric
R (muffled, but still intelligible): "Sally are you in today?"
Sally (muffled, quieter, but still intelligible and recognizable): "Nope."
sound of handset against fabric
R: "I'm sorry, but she's not in the office today, can I direct you to someone else, or her voicemail?"
Me: "No thanks, I'll send her email."
Me (muttered under breathe as I hung up): "learn to use the mute button, idiot."

Email went out about 5 minutes after that conversation.

She replied to the email 2 minutes later.